My Lips Are Sealed

It's interesting, I wrote yesterday about a co-worker who's due two weeks before I am, and we had this little luncheon thing today with the whole office, and everyone's asking her about how she's feeling, and how her appetite's been, and she's talking about how she's not ready to have to shop for maternity clothes. It's an interesting situation because obviously, I'm experiencing a lot of the same things that she is, but no one knows this yet. She's at 10 weeks, and I'm almost at 8, but I'll (hopefully) be past 12 weeks before I tell everyone here. That means there will be 4 WEEKS where it feels like I'm lying to all these people that are fairly important to my life, and it feels kind of strange. Still better than the previous scenarios, where I'm forced to say, pretty much in one sentence, "I'm pregnant, and it's not going well, and I go in for surgery tomorrow," or some variation of that.

My dream, my fantasy, is to be able to say, not only to co-workers, but to everyone who cares about me, "I'm pregnant, am through my first trimester, and all is well." I'm especially looking forward to saying this to my parents, who I'm extra cautious with right now. It's just been too hard for them, for everyone, but expecially for them, to be in this state of not being able to be happy for me when I'm pregnant, because they're overcome with fear and concern. One of my past pregnancies nearly killed me, and I'll never forgive my body (and my ex-doctor) for putting them through that. So, I am trying to protect them, and give them all the good news at once. I'm just ready to do it now!!! 4 more WEEKS is a long time to wait, especially now that I know everything is going fine. It's tempting to spill the beans now, but I know I'll be sparing them 4 weeks of worry by waiting, and so it's worth it to me to do so. They'll have plenty of time to celebrate with us when we're through with this more high risk time.

I already have it sort of planned out in my head, too, I'm such a dork. I imagine getting to my parent's place the day after Thanksgiving (will spend Thanksgiving day with hubby's folks, haven't planned that part out yet), and we'll get in the house, and my folks will do what they always do, welcome, great to see you, can I get you a drink? And I'll say, totally non-chalantly, (is that a word?!) "no, I'm pregnant, but thanks anyway." And then the hugs and the tears begin...