Ok, kind of strange...

I determined that I'd never do this, for many reasons. Primarily because I'm a pretty private person, and have no interest in people I know reading this, save my husband, especially given the event that has prompted this bold move.

I'm pregnant. Less than a handful of people know this, also for many reasons. This is my 4th pregnancy, and I have yet to have a successful one, though so far so good this time. I've had one miscarriage, and 2 ectopic pregancies, both requiring scary surgeries and the potential loss of my ability to procreate. Perhaps I'll expand on these prior losses another time.

Anyways, since almost no one knows I'm pregnant again (6 weeks and counting!), I have almost no one to talk to about it. Sure, it's the constant topic of conversation between me and my husband, but that's pretty much it. As I said, this is intentional, because given my history, there's no guarantee that I'll continue to stay pregnant, and I don't see the point in forcing my friends and family to grieve another loss with us, so for now, it's just been our little secret.

What's prompting me to start writing is my NEED to talk about it! I have a NEED to write, even if it's just to myself, about how completely lousy I feel every day. I NEED to write about struggling to overcome my addiction to caffeine, and my desire to drink alcohol on a regular basis. I NEED to be able to choke down more than 600 calories a day without feeling like yakking all over my freshly shampooed office floor.

So, that's exactly what I'll do. I can't imagine that this will be of much interest to anyone else (though morning sickness is SO VERY FASCINATING!), but maybe it'll help me survive the next few weeks, until we can be, at least in theory, out of the woods.